Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
