she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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