There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
