butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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