drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
