I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
