The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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