VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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