you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
