im holly from the hills drunk
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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