Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
