Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
where are my eyebrows?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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