I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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