i think my tv is drunk
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
