real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
