I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
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i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
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So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
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