Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
