I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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