dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
