the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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