I can text with my tongue
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
