I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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