So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
