Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Your cock deserves a montage
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
