Porn is love you can see.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
