I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
