Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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