Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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