i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
