i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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