Grow some girl-balls and come out already
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
