ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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