I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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