Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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