Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
