He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
