Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
either way he was missing a nipple.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
