once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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