I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
time to smoke my breakfast
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
