We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
third nipple confirmed
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
