So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
