Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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