whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
