Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
