so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
