having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Randomize