Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
