I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize