He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize