just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
