He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize