Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
im holly from the hills drunk
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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