I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just invented taco cereal.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
