She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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