Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
