u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
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If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
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Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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