So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
