I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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