He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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