just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
