I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
