i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
