We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
