oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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