At least make sure they are 18
Why
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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