I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
