Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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