How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
