Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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