Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize