I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
